Nobility and other Random Thoughts

It is probably just the sheer amount of discussion concerning civic duty, but I feel a sense of nobility rising among this generation. And by "this generation" I mean myself. I try to dispose of the cliche inherent in being called to something higher- but just cannot seem to shake it.

Is something worth doing, regardless of outcome?

I feel - I am- powerless to act in so many situations- this leads me to the conclusion that I MUST act in those situations I have some influence over.

It pisses me off that my students at Robinson Elementary have a greater chance of dropping out of school than graduating. It pisses me off that little Yesica wears her coat to warm up each day after a cold night in her unheated house. It pisses me off that Diana was labeled stupid because she cannot fully pronounce the English words she has been hearing for just 7 months. It pisses me off that my students get behavioral warnings, even though they are five years old and haven't eaten.
If everyone in every school in every district was like this- it wouldn't be as much of a problem, right? We acclimate quickly to what we know, especially if it the only thing we know. My students want to grow up to be rappers of basketball players or trash collectors- as long as they don't turn out like their mommies or daddies who got put in jail. My kids fear the police because they are the ones who show up to take the grownups away. My kids have developed a completely negative attitude towards authority in general- because very few adults have stepped up to prove them wrong.
What makes me more angry than anything is my drive from Robinson Elementary to Killbuck Elementary every Friday morning. I walk out of Robinson smiling. I am thinking about the students, and what Victor said this morning, or what question Mya asked, or how Aaleyah wrote her words. I am thinking about tiny Ethan and his giant grin, or the hug that Gregory gives me. I am thinking about Alya and her shy smile, and Ashton with his defiant stare. I get into the car smiling. I smile as I turn the key, as I adjust my seat, as I find my radio station. I smile as I shift into drive- and then it is lost. My precious pearls of memories are lost as I drive towards Killbuck. There my students are well behaved and respectful and sweet. They are well dressed and good looking and well prepared to learn. They ate breakfast and got on the school bus and look forward to being in class. And they are white.

If it is not their fault- why do I resent them so much? I resent the ease with which my lessons flow. I resent how simple it is to explain difficult concepts in a class with these children. I resent being told that this is a low performing group, and thinking about what my kindergartners from Robinson are going to be accomplishing at this age. I resent teaching in the ideal environment. My heart stays at Robinson.